My husband and I moved 4 months ago to begin a new journey in ministry. Through this journey, every pressure and attack from the enemy that you could imagine came full force. The fact that we were planting a church was enough to draw the attention of the enemy and the battle has been a tough one.
I have shared before about my journey to recognize my identity as a daughter of The King. I have discovered that I was only hitting the tip of the iceberg.
As women, the enemy knows the best and, sadly, easiest way to affect our walk with the Lord and our relationships with others is to somehow convince us that there is something wrong with us. Someone hurts us and we think “if only I were…” or “if only had done…” Layer after layer of hurt or disappointment piles on layer and layer of lies from the enemy of our souls. These whispers are repeated every time we are reminded of a past hurt or a failure. We start believing those lies and we find ourselves in a pit of despair or we find ourselves in competition with everyone around us to prove that there is nothing wrong with us, that we are enough.
There has never been a doubt in my mind that I am enough for God to love me. There is nothing that I could ever do or not do that will change how much He loves me. He loves me “beyond my wildest imagination” (my husband’s favorite phrase).
I have discovered that my issue is not whether or not I am enough, but is God enough.
Trust me, that is not an easy one to admit – I am a pastor’s wife for goodness sake. Of course God is enough! But my actions have betrayed my belief.
If I truly believed that God is enough, the actions of sinful people, wouldn’t send me into a tailspin and give the enemy the ammunition he needs to put me in the pit. If I truly believed that God was enough, my sinful actions wouldn’t cripple me with guilt.
When we fully discover that God is enough and our only goal is to glorify Him in the midst of the harshness of this sinful world, we can truly be who He created us to be. Nothing that has happened to me, or that I have done has caught God off guard. He has redeemed every ugly situation in my life to be used to form me and give me the grace I need to help others.
I am in a war with the enemy to remove 50 years of “you are not enough” and replace them with “God is enough”. I am going to fight the enemy’s lies with the Word of God by memorizing Ephesians 1. God’s lavish love is enough!
Let’s do this!
(With thanks to the love of my life for fighting with me and for me and helping me to understand what “enough” really means.)