The Fairytale Love

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While we are in this week of Valentine’s Day, many people concentrate on the idea of a fairytale love, or lack thereof.  We work so hard to meet an idealistic, Hollywood portrayed, Disney princess kind of love story and are sorely disappointed when it doesn’t pan out even close to this picture of so called love.  Our culture especially damages a lady’s view on romance because we idolize these fantasies of Prince Charming and living happily ever after.  When reality actually sets in or the first blemish appears in our love story, we are not equipped to handle it because we refuse to believe that could be a part of love.

Love that’s not perfect….does that even exist!?  If it doesn’t, then my marriage should bow out now.  I like many of you was sucked into believing that my love story would be infamous for its powerful culmination and the perfect Prince Charming of a husband that would spend his days thinking of another romantic gesture to surprise his wife.  I find it very ironic how long I idolized the fantasy and how quickly that idea was altered.

I am not knocking love or marriage, but rather I want us to have a healthier view of a perfect love (because we can only get that from Jesus) and an imperfect marriage.  Now, I have only been married for eight years, but in that short time we have endured many trials and been exposed to our countless flaws that I feel we have a bit of a grip on God’s intention for our love story.

In a fairytale or romantic movie, the guy always says the right thing, buys the gifts, prepares an elaborate date, and swoons over the lady in his life.  These are all good things, until these acts become the focus of the definition of love and then we tirelessly lose in an effort to maintain these actions.

My husband is far from perfect (but I’d say much closer to perfection than I am).  I get so annoyed when he goes on a rampage through the house throwing things away just because he doesn’t like clutter (or keeping things for very long).  The majority of the time he chooses the negative outlook on any situation (he would call it being “realistic”) which makes me disheartened.  The way he drives like a grandpa, whether we are in a hurry or his wife is in labor, always emotes anger on my part.  We have fought over how to squeeze the toothpaste tube to parenting differences and everything in between.

However, when I think of love from my husband, I think of the nervous 19-year-old on our first date who was too worried about messing things up that he couldn’t even eat his meal.  I am reminded of a college student who would drive 2 hours at 4am on a Saturday morning to visit his girlfriend for the day before driving 2 hours home that night.  Love cleans your wife’s hair out of the shower and never even saying anything about it.  Nursing your wife back to health, working full-time, caring for a baby, and doing all the household chores; that’s love.

Having a perfect marriage, happily ever after love story doesn’t exist because we are superficial in our idea that roses and chocolates define what love really is.  So, no matter what Hollywood says or Walt Disney portrays, how well Richard Gere and Julia Roberts act, or what Nicholas Sparks writes in his next novel, a fairytale love like these do not exist.  Marriage is hard work.  Love becomes a daily choice rather than a thoughtless magical moment.  I am grateful for the love my husband shows to me in how he displays Christ’s love in our relationship.  In the season of love, look no further than Jesus’ perfect example and his unfailing love.  When a man treats you like that, a romantic movie loses its passion.

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