For the last 9 months, there has been a stranger living with us. This woman isn’t in our home all the time, but randomly shows up. She walks in the room and bursts into tears and loses all sense of reality and perspective. She prefers the AC set on FREEZE.
This woman is me. I am almost 55.
My sweet husband doesn’t know what to do with this stranger. He knows his wife to be strong in her faith, an independent and strong personality, who has overcome hurt and major difficulty.
The woman who bursts into tears scares him a bit. He wants to fix things, so he pushes for a reason for the instant tears. Wanting to make sense of this craziness, I begin to grasp at what might be the cause. Situations that have caused pain that the Lord and I have dealt with and become victorious over suddenly become issues again. My “fix it” husband begins to deal with the issue I have blamed for the stranger I have become.
Nine months later and I am still bursting into tears.
Yesterday, as I sat in a sobbing heap in the kitchen floor, my husband saw our divided kitchen sink. He loves visuals. He described the left side of the sink filled with the hormonal chaos of my life called menopause. The right side of the sink was filled with the issues of my past. TWO SEPARATE SINKS.
It is important to deal with past hurt or sin. It is equally important to not let the enemy bring those up and mix them with the hormonal chaos that is menopause.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you” – Jer 1:5
Nothing about this situation is a surprise to God. He created this phase of life for women (although there are moments I would really like to have a strong word with Eve).
Cry out to the Lord in the midst of the chaos and confusion and ask Him to bring your emotions back to center and calm the chaos. He KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS.
Trusting through the Chaos,