“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:25)

I’ve always wondered how in the world to do this, but now I know…have twins when you are over forty and are also homeschooling a high schooler, a middle schooler, an elementary schooler, and a preschooler…and parenting a college student.  Yes, life is intense right now, but He is present and faithful, and I wouldn’t trade this for anything!  Here are the latest updates, pictures, and observations from the babies’ first month at home…

Titus settled in quickly and is a total “go with the flow” type of guy.  He keeps careful track of time and faithfully lets us know when three hours have passed, and it is time to eat.  He started smiling last week, which is fun for all of us!  He looks more like Maya everyday with his blue eyes, fair skin, and reddish hair…waiting to see if he will be a leftie!

Tess had a tougher time transitioning.  Part of this may be that we whisked her off to Williamsburg for Family Weekend at W&M only two days after discharge.  She lost a few ounces her first week home.  We had four days to get weight on her and avoid readmission, and with the help and encouragement of a few friends and an OT consult, we got a reprieve.  She has gained steadily since then and even gets to wait two months for her next weight check!  She continues to have “attitude,” though a lot of it is gas-related, so who can blame her for fussing about that.  We joke that Titus may look like Maya, but Tess acts like her (at least the baby version of her).  She is a sweet little girl under all of that crying, though…don’t let her fool you!

So how are the other kids holding up??

Maya came home from fall break for four blissful days, and the tone and chaos in our home instantly intensified, thus confirming our theory that she was a behind-the-scenes instigator and mess-maker for years!  We loved every minute of her time at home, though…even the five loads of laundry she brought for me to do in exchange for babysitting (worth every shirt I folded!).  She is safely deposited back at W&M, where she is having a wonderful semester in every way we could want for her.

Marina has recovered from the trauma of her oral surgery, which included a trip to urgent care in Williamsburg during family weekend a month ago and ultimately an emergent trip back to Portsmouth to have an abscess drained, an infection of the hardware installed during her surgery.  She has managed to catch up on her school work after a rocky start to the semester and is intensely busy but loving her classes and activities this school year.

Jonah is back in the pool consistently after an inconsistent summer of training.  He turned twelve last week, which I am still struggling to comprehend.  He and Saylor are both great helpers with the babies.  I have great empathy for moms of multiples who have no older siblings to help care for them.

Lydia is FIVE!!  How did that happen?!?  She loves Titus and Tess, though she can be too rough with them (poking eyes and squeezing heads).  She wants to carry them around, so leaving them alone in the room with her is NOT an option.  For some reason, she continues to mix them up, so Titus is Tess to her and Tess is Titus, except when she occasionally announces that there are “two Tituses” (or Tesses).

It’s acceptable for twins to share things like bottles and pacifiers in emergency situations, and if you mistakenly put the pink jammies on the baby boy or the blue jammies on the baby girl, no harm is done to either.

Baby formula does not work well as coffee creamer; however, if you accidentally put the baby’s bottle in your coffee instead of the mug of hot water you prepared, it heats up just fine.

When you are desperately tired and behind on everything in life, it is easy to find little things to be grateful for…like overhearing your daughter say “Trash” from the other room and knowing exactly where to look for your keys she had been carrying around the last time you saw her.

It takes a LOT more trips to Starbucks to parent newborn twins (shameless hint to family buying Christmas gifts for me).  I always said that Starbucks is cheaper than therapy, but that may no longer be true.

Diapers and formula for twins rivals the cost of college tuition.

Humility and complete absence of pride are essential to survival with two newborns and Lydia in the same house.  I accept every offer of help and have even resorted to allowing someone else to clean my bathrooms (those who have seen them closely understand why this is an act of total humility).

It is okay to ask strangers for help.  When two babies are crying for their bottles at once in a public place, you will even find yourself looking around at the other customers, trying to decide which one might be open to bottle feeding one of your babies.

Lydia now owns a backpack harness (aka a kid-leash).  This is essential.  Withhold all judgment until you have tried taking her to therapy in the pouring rain with two babies in tow.  After the second escape to the elevator, I went online and ordered the leash…I mean, harness.  The receptionists at CHKD Oakbrook are now among my best friends.

I am not too old to have a baby shower after all!  Thanks to Shannon, Sissel, Kelly, and Mindy and a bunch of my dearest friends, Titus and Tess now have lots of diapers, clothes, gift cards for formula and other goodies and even some Starbucks (thanks, Mom!).  It was such a lovely afternoon of fellowship, fun, and prayer.  I arrived weary and drained and left feeling encouraged, blessed, and full of joy and gratitude for God’s goodness and faithfulness, thanks to my friends!

This month has been exhausting and physically draining.  I have needed help with pretty much every aspect of life.  However, I can honestly say that I have never once lost my peace and the absolute certainty that we heard God’s call and that Titus and Tess are his gift to our family…a double blessing.  They are seamlessly woven into the very core of my mother’s heart, and I cannot remember or imagine life without them.  My heart SINGS because of their lives, and I am so grateful to God for the gift of them and for their big brother Timothy who prepared me to be their mommy in ways I could not have seen before but now understand.  The found life is far richer than the lost one.