December 9. I have a new habit of going to soaking prayer at our church on Monday evenings during Marina’s orchestra rehearsal. Prior to this year, I had never been to a soaking prayer service. In fact, I vaguely recall being invited to one a few years back and scoffing at the idea. I’m not sure what I envisioned…maybe people sitting in hot tubs praying for each other!?! I don’t do water other than required bathing, so that thought alone would have repelled me.

If I am honest, though, I will confess that the humor was a cover for fear. I imagine my internal monologue went something like this: “Soaking prayer? That sounds intimate, doesn’t it? God may really see something inside me if I do that, and I could really hear what He thinks. I think I’ll pass…”

Fast forward a few years…through several significant life events that left me with a completely different perspective on who God is and what I am seeking in my relationship with Him. Soaking prayer now sounded intriguing. It sounded like something that could meet a need in my life. I can steal moments at home to read Scripture, pray, and write in my journal, but they are rarely quiet, solitary moments…more like bursts of solitude punctuated every few minutes by someone crying, fighting, or calling my name. Needless to say, I was hooked from the first soaking prayer service I attended.

So what is it? Really, it is whatever you want it to be. In our church, it is held in the main sanctuary. There is lighting at the altar, but most of the lights are turned down. There are some candles in the back and little packets of communion available for those who want them. There are prayer flags to lay over your chair if you want someone to pray for you, but that’s completely optional. You can come and go as you please with no one speaking to you, which most nights, is just fine with my introverted self.

The music makes soaking prayer really special. I love the nights that it is live music, usually led by a woman who has a true anointing to create an atmosphere where you can seek God’s presence. She sings some, plays keyboard, prays, and prophesies as God leads her. God has used her gifts to speak to me on several occasions.

When she isn’t there, the facilitators play a soaking music CD, which is a whole genre I didn’t even know existed until I started attending. It is some of the most peaceful music I have ever heard.

There is no wrong way to do soaking prayer. I don’t really pay attention to the others in the room when I am there, but I have noticed that some go to the altar to pray, and others bring pillows and just lay on the pews. I still struggle with being still, so I often have my Bible and journal out and alternate between silent prayer, Scripture reading, and journaling. When I go, I don’t want to leave. The time blesses me so much.

Last night, the service was a little shorter than usual, and I was extremely exhausted when I arrived. Twin sleep issues are still plaguing me, and I have been staying up a little too late writing my Advent Journals, so the quiet, peaceful atmosphere of the room lulled me immediately. I wrote a prayer in my journal like I often do at the start of the service. This one said: “God, give me a fresh anointing. Quiet my Spirit before you, so I can hear you. Speak to me, Lord, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

I went in expecting some fresh revelation in my Advent study. I thought God would download lots of new insights for me to ponder in the week ahead. I was sure He would not disappoint. Instead, I wrote my prayer, took communion, and promptly dozed off. Time passed without me being aware of it at all—no silent prayer, no Scripture reading, no journaling—just sitting in God’s presence, resting.

I jolted awake just before the time I needed to leave to pick up Marina. Just as guilty thoughts began creeping in to accuse me of falling asleep on God, I heard the leader speak into her microphone: “The Lord says He wants to be with you where you are,” she said. And she began to sing one of my very favorites songs, “Beautiful Things” by Gungor. Some of the lyrics are:

All this pain

I wonder if I’ll ever find my way?

I wonder if my life could really change at all?

 

All this earth

Could all that is lost ever be found?

Could a garden come up from this ground at all?

 

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

 

All around

Hope is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You

 

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us…

 

You make me new, You are making me new

You make me new, You are making me new

Making me new

(Link to this beautiful song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWooIrU5OwI )

I knew that her word was for me. I knew that God was telling me to please not feel guilty. He immediately gave me an image of a little girl with her head leaning against her father’s shoulder, sleeping. I knew then that this is how I did not startle or fall over while I rested. God was right there beside me, holding me up and just being with me, right where I was.

So, He did answer my prayer and give me a fresh anointing. He did speak to me. It wasn’t a list of Scriptures or copious notes I took as He downloaded His truth into me. Instead, it was an invitation to lean on Him and rest. It was an acceptance of me and my exhaustion. It was just what I needed—a Father-Daughter moment that I will remember for a long time—hopefully forever.

Dear Father God, Thank You. Thank You for letting me rest on Your shoulder for a little while last night. Thank You for being with me in my exhaustion and loving me even when all I can do is rest. Thank You that You have changed and are continuing to change me into something beautiful. Thank You that You can work with our messes if we just bring them to You and lay them at Your feet. In Your name, I pray. Amen.

“For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:10-13)