December 11. Today, I have nothing to write. Nothing went in, so nothing comes out. Somehow I managed to skip my own Advent devotional, our family one, and the younger kid one—all in the same day. A record low. Since Thursday evenings are the one evening that I cannot escape for some solitude, I am facing my blank Advent Journal page with a blank mind.

I spoke to God today—several times actually—in prayer for others. There is a lot of need in my community of friends right now. Injuries. Sicknesses. Final exams. Decisions. Relationship challenges. Cancer. But even intercession for others doesn’t fill me personally the way time in God’s word and time just listening to Him does.

This is a day when I am grateful for grace, grateful that my faith is not legalistic, and grateful that tomorrow I will wake up with the same access to the same God that I love and worship and that nothing about what I did or did not do today affects my standing with Him in the least.

Years ago, a day like this would have spiraled out of control. I used to believe that when I failed to spend quality time with God, I moved farther and farther away from Him. So, I would just continue not to spend time with Him and create an even bigger problem until I was filled with nothing but guilt and a sense of failure. Then I heard a pastor speak on how Satan loves to make us feel far away from God, but that that is a vicious lie. God never moves. He is always right there. We just fail to reach out and encounter Him.

That teaching really changed my perspective. I started noticing Satan whispering these lies to me. “You haven’t touched your Bible in days.” “How can you call yourself a believer when you pray so infrequently?” “You never even think about God.” They were bold lies birthed out of my own neglect of my daily interactions with God that would then get distorted in my own mind to reflect my entire relationship with Him.

It doesn’t work that way. My place as God’s daughter is permanent and is not dependent on anything I do or do not do. It is solely a result of what Christ has already done. However, if nothing else, days like today affirm what I have been learning on this intentional Advent Journey. When I carve out the time to spend time with God, He pours into me and allows me to live out of His infilling. When I don’t, even though my salvation remains intact, God is not “mad” at me, and no condemnation comes my way, I have missed out on the best He had to give me for that day, and I am left to live out of the leftovers of yesterday’s communion with Him.

Father God, I missed my quality time with You today. I don’t really know how it happened, but the day slipped away from me, and the evening was full. I am so grateful that I no longer believe that You condemn me for this or that this means You are now in some far off place where I have to strive to get back to You. Thank You that you have not moved and that tomorrow I get another chance to put You first in my day. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

“Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5b)

“Then you call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear your. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:12-13)

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” (John 15:4)