December 4. And then there are the days when your twin babies didn’t sleep well, and little tornadoes seem to have struck every part of your house, and you go in circles trying to get one of your kiddos with special challenges some support she needs but you get nowhere. And at the end of the day, all you have to show for it is a headache that won’t go away, a cup full of coffee that you never drank, and a sinking feeling that even on your best day, you only marginally meet the needs of your kids. BUT, you committed to posting a journal entry everyday of Advent, and you don’t do fake, so you sit down with your paper journal and your Bible and ask God to show you what any of this has to do with a holy night and a manger and harking heralds, whatever they are anyway. And He says it has everything to do with them.

Because without the holy night and the manger and the harking heralds, this would be how our entire lives end. We would strive and never be good enough, work tirelessly and attain nothing but death, and have more than a headache with no healing in sight. But that isn’t how it ends. Because He did come, and He lived the perfect life we are completely incapable of living. And He made the perfect sacrifice we are incapable of making. And now the hard days and hard years and even the hard lives end well for those who accept His gift. I could be brutally murdered tomorrow, and my life would still end in victory because He made it so.

Maybe that sounds gruesome and gloomy and makes some people cringe, but it is true! And that is why Christmas and Easter should be glorious celebrations! Because the birth of the God-baby and the death and resurrection of the God-man rewrote the end of the story forever!

Days like this make me think of how the Israelites must have felt making sacrifice after sacrifice. All that blood and killing and burning, but it was never enough. And all the striving to keep the law and failing over and over again. But “we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.”(1 John 2:2, NIV)

They also make me ache for those who are chained to works-based false religions or the “religion” of our culture that tells them their worth is determined by what they produce or obtain in their lifetime. All that striving and acquiring only to come up empty in the end. Jesus himself said, “Do not store up treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21, NIV)

And even some believers buy the lie that their worth is tied to their own righteousness instead of His. But no matter how early we get up for quiet time, how many hours we serve the poor, or how perfect our church attendance is, “[a]ll of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.” (Isaiah 64:6) Notice the word ALL in that verse—it’s there three times. I’m pretty sure that means He’s talking about all of us.

But the baby in the manger did what we can never do. “We have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” (Hebrews 10:10, NIV) And it isn’t only an eternal gift, but an every day gift. Even a didn’t-accomplish-anything, met-nobody’s-needs, big-old-headache kind of day. Because eternity is NOW for a believer. It doesn’t start when we die; it starts when we accept His Christmas gift. That’s why, first thing this morning when I woke up tired, Jesus said to me: “Come to me…you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28, NIV)

Thank You, God, that even on a not-so-great day, I am good enough because You made it so through Your Son’s perfect sacrifice. Thank You that tomorrow is another day. And thank You for Advent, where I can sit at Your feet and soak in the truth of Your word. In that God-baby’s name, I pray. Amen.

“This then is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (1 John 4:9-10)

December 3. What if I said that this picture is an artist’s rendition of a Christmas tree? Some people may question my definition of artist; others may consider it abstract art worthy of consideration; and a few may think this artist needs to wean herself from controlled substances and find a new art instructor.

What if I then revealed that the artist was a 6-year-old girl with Down syndrome who had never drawn a Christmas tree before? Most would celebrate her accomplishment, admire the recognizable shape of the tree, or perhaps wonder why the tree seems to be barricaded at the bottom (see December 1 post).

What if I then shared that this artist drew her creation in black crayon on the family room wall? Some may laugh hysterically; others would empathize with her mom; and a few may wonder to themselves, “Who was watching this child?”

One picture. Three very distinct perspectives. All containing elements of truth but none complete in isolation.

When Lydia created this masterpiece on our wall yesterday, I began thinking of all the ways I could view the situation—frustration at the sibling who gave her the crayon, dread over the effort it will take to clean it, pride for her developing skill, and guilt over my neglect all came to mind.

This morning, however, God showed me how He could use this experience to teach me another Advent lesson (Yes, He truly can work all things together for good!). He brought to mind the earliest events of the Christmas story. In Luke, Chapter 1, an angel appears to Mary and says these words: “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” (Luke 1:30-33, ESV)

World changing words. Eternity changing words. And for young, teenage Mary, life-changing words. Her reaction? How can this be? I am engaged to be married, but I have never been with a man? (see verses 27 and 34)

And her fiancée Joseph’s? What in the world? This virgin I am supposed to marry is pregnant? This will disgrace her. I must call it off! (see Matthew 1:18-19)

While the Bible does not specifically tell us, any parent can imagine Mary’s parents’ responses—disbelief, sadness, embarrassment, possibly anger.

But when God gave Mary and Joseph His perspective on their situations, everything changed.

The angel Gabriel told Mary: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” (Luke 1:35-37)

And Mary replied: “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

An angel also appeared to Joseph in a dream and told him: “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:20b-21)

Verses 22-23 tell us that “[w]hen Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.”

Without God’s perspective, our vision is always distorted just as Mary and Joseph’s were at first. But how do we receive His perspective when angels do not appear to clarify for us? The Triune God has provided three types of “corrective lenses” for our faulty vision. We can hold the situations in our lives and in our culture up to God’s Holy Word. We can discern through the conviction of the Holy Spirit that lives within us. And because Christ gave us access to a righteous Father, we can speak directly to Him in prayer. I never see in full when I look with my own eyes, but I can trust that God always sees a complete picture—even if it is drawn in black crayon on a family room wall.

Lord, Thank You that I, a sinful human, can see with Your eyes. Please teach me to always use the truth of Your Word, the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and my direct access to You through prayer as corrective lenses for my faulty vision. Let me always pursue Your perspective on situations I encounter whether in my own life or in the news. Let me trust You even when my limited humanity prevents me from seeing a complete picture. In Your Son’s name I pray, Amen.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105, ESV)

“But, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him’—these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. “ (1 Corinthians 2:9-10, ESV)

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:4, ESV)

December 2. My prayer has been that this year, unlike years past, Advent would be a time of preparation, not for the external celebration of Christmas but for the internal preparation I need to understand the Incarnation on a deeper, more personal level. Interestingly, as I begin to seek God in these early days of Advent, asking Him to show me more fully what I am preparing for, His response has been that I am asking the wrong question. Before I can even begin to understand the Who or What of His gift, I must first ask Why?

I don’t mean why do I need a Savior. That’s a Gospel story for sure and the most important question a person will wrestle with in coming to faith and salvation. But as a believer with a saving faith, why do I need to understand the significance of baby Jesus afresh each year? Why not just celebrate Christmas with gifts and decorations and music and maybe a Christmas service or two—sort of like a memorial or a remembrance?

My answer came in a children’s devotional reading. This does not surprise me one bit; it seems lately that I discover much truth in my kids’ homeschool curricula, and I love that! Today, one of the devotionals I shared with Lydia and Saylor included the familiar Isaiah passage of scripture that stirs hearts at Christmas no matter how many times it is recited or read: “For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end,
on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.” (Isaiah 9:6-7).

But this devotional didn’t start at verse 6 like most of the Christmas recitations. It started with verse 2, which I had not previously even noticed more than in passing. It says: “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them light has shined.” God really impressed upon me that I needed to meditate on this verse in light of my Why question—that it would show me why this God-child needed to be born, and why Advent is about more than celebrating the salvation that comes through Him. I am no theologian, but time and time again, God has used His Word to reveal His truths to me.

The result of my prayer and meditation on Isaiah 9:2:

 I am one who walks in darkness when I…

*see only through my dim eyes instead of His clear ones

*seek guidance from my fellow sinful man before God

*read more faithfully others’ words about Him than His own Word

*am influenced more by my culture than my God

*let my eyes see impure things without turning away

*fail to see need around me

*have tunnel-vision, focusing on my own agenda instead of His

And I dwell in a land of deep darkness, a land plagued with…

*bad habits

*wasted time

*not enough joy

*sparse fruit of the Spirit

*a sense of urgency dictated not by God but by society’ expectations of me

*spiritual ADD, anemia, and malnourishment

*constant distractions

*technology and advancements that have created a land of abundance that is so full, it is empty

Dear God, I think I understand Why I need to encounter you afresh this Advent—and all the time, really. Even though I am a believer who has eternal life through you, I walk daily in darkness and I dwell in a land of deep darkness. Shine your light on these convictions you have revealed to me, and dispel the darkness that blinds me today and everyday. Help me, this Advent season, to “see a great light.” In Your holy name I pray, Amen.

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, ’I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” (John 8:12)

In early November, I challenged myself to tackle some of my most stressful and time-consuming Christmas tasks by Thanksgiving in a desperate attempt to savor and fully experience Advent both personally and with my kids. The past several years, I have stressed my way through the holidays that I once loved dearly, and I really want this year to be different. I want to actually finish the Advent devotionals that I start and to bake and make crafts with Saylor and to help Lydia understand the Christmas story for the first time. I want to hear from God this Advent and reflect daily on what Christmas really means, so that when the 25^th comes, I will fully appreciate what I am celebrating. As part of my challenge, I hope to journal through Advent in an attempt to keep myself accountable, capture what God reveals, and use this blog that I never find time to write in! Even if no one else reads these journals, I will appreciate the outlet for reflection, as writing always helps me process life a little more fully.

December 1. Advent is here. The devotionals and other activities I have carefully been selecting for weeks start today. Yet when I woke up, the excitement I expected felt tainted by apprehension. Why? I have mostly succeeded in my mission to ease the stress of Christmas preparations. Lots of gifts are safely tucked away in their hiding places. Most of my cards have been delivered or at least mailed. The tree is decorated and fortified with an extra large baby gate in hopes of keeping the ornaments ON it. Yet, I found myself procrastinating the start of the festivities this morning—after breakfast, after coffee, after the baby’s nap—until I finally just dove in. Everything went just fine, so what was my problem?

I think God is trying to show me something about myself. My sometimes perfectionist self may need to get out of the way if I want Christmas to be what it is truly about. Take His first point for illustration—Christmas cards. Yes, I mailed them last Wednesday. And on Saturday I found, not one, but THREE typos in our family letter that goes to friends we don’t see often. Now, this may seem insignificant to most people, but it was a serious blow to my former-English-teacher pride. How could I have mailed over a hundred copies of something written, typed, and edited by me that contained not one but TWO missing commas and a missing word! A whole word!?! Now, granted it was a small word (“a”), but still. I thought of sending an addendum, printing a retraction, claiming that my letter was stolen by aliens or small children and mailed without my knowledge. But alas, I just twitched a few times and convinced myself to get over it. Because I realized that I would much rather have my imperfect letter mailed and delivered than to still have that task hanging over my head. Sometimes the little, truly insignificant details can be sacrificed for the ultimate goal.

Christmas is ripe with opportunities to get distracted by the details and paralyzed by perfection. We spend so much time searching for the perfect gift, designing an eye-catching card, scouring recipes for the one that will be the talk of the cookie swap, or shopping for the outfit that will make our little angel stand out among the swarms of children in the Christmas Eve choir. Okay, so I have never been to a cookie swap, and my angel was always the one pulling her dress up over her head, but the point is that my first lesson this Advent season is that sometimes God wants me to sacrifice perfection in preparation for completion. My work can truly be neverending, or I can stop and say it is good enough, and now I will spend time with my family or quiet myself before God and really listen to Him. In our culture today, this is especially difficult. The Internet taunts us with an endless supply of ideas, recipes, and gift options. We could truly never stop seeking, planning, and preparing for the perfect Christmas. But if we do that, we will surely fall short because most of what creates a truly meaningful Christmas comes not from physical preparations but from heart preparations, and those cannot be found on Amazon or Pinterest, or Allrecipes.com but in time in God’s Word and in prayer and through savoring the season with family and friends.

Lord, limit me to enough preparations to give my family a special, memorable time this Christmas, but let me be okay with imperfections, so I can enjoy this Advent season with my family and sit in Your Presence and learn from You. In Your name I pray, Amen.

“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42, ESV)

(Saturday night)                                   (Monday morning)