As I pulled away from the Starbucks drive-thru yesterday in the cold, pouring rain, I glanced down at the cup in my drink holder (I had gotten the red swirly holiday cup this time—one of my favorites!). Across the top of the cup in black Sharpie were the words “Thanks, Mom! I love ya! You can do it!” The words felt as warm as the drink inside the cup, and I smiled thinking of the beautiful young friend who penned them…one of my “barista daughters.”

It’s amazing how a simple word of encouragement can turn a day or a mood or an attitude completely upside down. I see it in my kids, too. Titus often has “moments” (sometimes days FULL of them!), and I have learned that one of the best ways to defuse them is to think of something positive to say about him in that moment. The same can be said of my students. When I evaluate their writing, I know that they need me to critique it, edit it, and challenge them to improve it, but if I start by complimenting something about it, the rest is much more easily received.

Barnabas is known as the encourager in the early church. Acts 4:36 says his name means “son of encouragement.” What an incredible calling! Barnabas was set apart by the Holy Spirit and called to speak boldly (Acts 13). I have a Barnabas in my life, and I have been awed by how specifically God directs her. She now lives across the country from me but with amazing precision, Sarah will still send me a prayer, a prophetic word, a note of encouragement, or even a small gift that will arrive within hours of a difficult situation or hard day.

Last year Tess spent two-and-a-half months in the hospital and had seven surgeries within a four-month period. Simultaneously, our family was enduring the catastrophic events that I described in yesterday’s journal. Soon after the New Year, my body started reacting to all of the stress. I suffered severe headaches, developed corneal ulcers that destroyed a significant portion of my vision in one eye, and broke out in the most painful rash I have ever experienced. On the day of Tess’s discharge after the seventh and final surgery of her ordeal, I was finally able to slip away to the doctor to get help for the rash. I was emotionally spent from a toxic encounter earlier in the day and was grateful just to sit down in a sterile waiting room at the Tricare Clinic where no one knew me, needed me, or threatened me in any way. When I heard the text notification chime from my pocket, I instinctively reached for it, bracing myself for the likely negative intrusion into my moment of respite. Instead, I saw a message that included these words:

“You are dearly loved, admired, and deeply respected…Your love makes a difference and is beautiful even when unnoticed…You are loved and lovely. I pray that you can always live loved because that is your true identity.”

The words in between these were equally personal and powerful, but those declarations of love in the midst of such an unloving day were what wrecked me. Because as I read them, I realized that this particular cold, dark day happened to be Valentine’s Day and that through one of His sweet servants, God Himself had just delivered my one and only Valentine.

This type of thing has happened over and over again for the past year, yet it always amazes me. To me, it is not only evidence of God’s provision for ME but also of my friend Sarah’s attentiveness to HIM. She has to hear Him to know when and what to say to me, and that is a testimony to her faith and discernment.

Not everyone has the calling that Barnabas and my friend Sarah seem to share, but we all have great capacity to encourage one another. In fact Paul admonished us to do so: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV).

So much that we are called to do is difficult—loving our enemies, turning the other cheek, forgiving, demonstrating self-control—but encouraging one another is really easy. It isn’t expensive or time consuming to write a note, send a text, express a compliment, pat a back, give a hug, lend a hand, or express gratitude to someone. Why don’t we do more of it? For me, it is usually hurry or distraction that cause me to miss opportunities to encourage someone. Advent is the perfect time to open our eyes to the strangers, friends, co-workers, and family whose paths cross ours each day and to listen to the Lord as He nudges us to say or do just the thing they need to hear or receive to feel His love.

“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 15:5-6, ESV).