Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:10-12, ESV)

Here is a sad confession. I typed those three verses (almost) entirely from memory, and it took me a pathetic amount of effort to achieve that. Since the 5^th grade when I struggled diligently to learn the Gettysburg Address for my beloved teacher Ms. Turner, I have known that I am not good at memorizing. Oh, I have a great memory—for events, for people, for the basic essence of a story or passage of scripture—but my word-for-word recall is seriously challenged. At age 48, I now feel compelled to change that—somehow. My motivation? Warfare.

Over the past few weeks, I realized that I have been walking around completely uncovered—spiritually naked and exposed. After Christmas—just when I started looking to the future with some dreams and some concrete plans; just as I settled into new semester routines designed to help me stay focused, caught up, and spiritually fed—in swooped the enemy to launch another assault, and immediately the grief and the despair and the fear rushed in and kidnapped my mind and heart.

I have watched Satan completely capture someone I dearly loved and so pervert that person’s thinking and behavior that I was unable to recognize him anymore. Of all people, I should know the stakes of the war and the incorrigible, unscrupulous character of the enemy.

But somehow, yet again, the enemy found the weak spot, found the buttons to push, found the place to strike. I was blindsighted yet again. Attacks were launched. Safe people and places became unsafe. And before I realized what was even happening, the enemy had my mind again. I do not know whether the attack hurt the most or the disappointment I felt for allowing the little punk to get to me again.

In the midst of that disappointment, I woke up to an early morning text from a friend with this word God had given her for me:

“Then the Lord will create over the whole site of Mount Zion and over her assemblies a cloud by day, and smoke and the shining of a flaming fire by night; for over all the glory there will be a canopy. There will be a booth for shade by day from the heat, and for a refuge and a shelter from the storm and rain.” (Isaiah 4:5-6, ESV)

With it, she added a word of encouragement: “Melissa, you know that place…keep going there!!!! One moment, one day at a time.”

Reading her message took me immediately back to the passage in Exodus that this same faithful friend had shared with me two months ago. That passage said, “Then the angel of God who was going before the host of Israel moved and went behind them, and the pillar of cloud moved from before them and stood behind them, coming between the host of Egypt and the host of Israel. And there was the cloud and the darkness. And it lit up the night without one coming near the other all night.” (Exodus 14:19-20, ESV)

How, in just two months, had I managed to slip out of His protective covering? As I pondered this over the course of the morning, God continued to speak truth to me until a picture emerged. I had allowed myself to become exposed—to live uncovered—outside of that canopy, right in the middle of the storm and rain.

Over the days that followed, God sent word after word:

Stand firm.

Walk THROUGH the valley…He is with you.

The enemy will twist the truth and speak his lies through anyone willing to be his vessel.

You have been in a long battle, and you are weary, but your endurance will not come from your own strength. It will come from His endurance in you. 

Put on the armor of God every single day and as you do, tell yourself WHY you need each individual piece.

You are covered and protected by grace. Jesus is strong in you! 

I had somehow forgotten the power of the enemy and his dirty tactics and shown up for the battle wearing nothing but my own strength. Self-talk is not enough to the win the battle for my mind. Self-disciplines will not sustain me when I experience betrayal or personal attacks. Emotions will prove weak companions in the dark of night when the enemy whispers his lies.

I do not know how long it will take me to memorize the rest of the Armor of God, but I am determined to own that word and every other passage of warfare scripture I can find. Next time the enemy comes after my mind, He will run straight into the Word of the Lord. Straight into truth. And it will send him scurrying back into the darkness with his little lies.

That is how I will stay covered. That is how I will endure. That is how I will claim the victory that is already won.

“Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.  In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.” (Ephesians 6:13-18a, ESV)