I’m sure you’ve heard all the jokes going around about you. You definitely caught us all by surprise. You came in so hip and fun with your double 20s—and the vision pun potential was tremendous. But with the roar of a March wind, you shifted on us, and we’ve all been kind of stumbling round in the whirlwind of you ever since. Our eyes are clouded by the debris and dust, and we all have wounds of some kind. Some of us died literally; others died emotionally—or lived but lost our will to live. We witnessed things we never expected to see in our lifetimes—piles of pandemic body bags, horrific acts of racial injustice, and an embarrassingly polarizing national election filled with hate and judgment. 

Our usual media feed of sports stars and Hollywood celebrities was replaced by images of mask-scarred medical workers, first responders, and teachers—the true heroes in our world finally being recognized for the sacrifices they make every day of every year. That act of service alone makes you a year worthy of praise.

Personally, 2020, you felt like an ordinary year with a few bizarre circumstances thrown in the mix. Granted, it was one of my more challenging years, mainly because of seven surgeries and four hospital stays for Tess, my sweet, strong overcomer. It was heartbreaking to watch two of my children lose their high school and college experiences like prom and graduation, and I felt the loss of not seeing much of my friends and family in person. I dearly missed our usual activities like Special Olympics and the Broadway tour season and simple acts like going to movies in the theater. It does irk me to leave 2020 still married with no end in sight, but God has promised to redeem my years of waiting for court dates and closure. Thankfully nothing about this year has changed the fact that God always keeps His promises. 

On the brighter side, 2020, you brought me a new son-in-love on the most beautiful wedding day imaginable, a day I have already and will continue to replay in my mind over and over because it was truly filled with nothing but joy! And the way our friends came together to make that day happen amidst COVID challenges is something I will always cherish. I had the opportunity to develop a new course this year, something I enjoy so much despite the stress of it. You will also be remembered as the year I finished my doctoral coursework, the fruit of two and a half years and countless hours of labor that I enjoyed with all my being. (Though I cannot say I’m sorry to start my dissertation in a different year—just to be safe.)

So many things actually stayed the same for me in your presence—I worked online from home, went to school online from home, schooled my kids from home, shopped mostly online, and had my groceries delivered—things I did well before you normalized them. I honestly appreciated the slower pace of having less places to go and more time to savor the experiences I did get to have. I think I connected more deeply with my kids and other family and friends because we talked more and did less. My house stayed (a little) cleaner, I think. And I even found a wellness plan I love and want to do consistently—a first in over twenty years (really in my whole life if I’m honest). 

For me, the main difference in 2020 was feeling less isolated, which I realize is counter to most of the world. Some of the “hardships” that are normal for me—living on the edge of medical crisis and living and working in ways that allow for the constant possibility of the unexpected—are now experiences that literally everyone in the world can relate to on some level. While I would never wish hardship on anyone, the mutual understanding has made me feel a little less alone.

For all your ugly divisiveness, 2020, my chosen optimistic view of you is that ultimately, you will be the year that unifies us like no other. That maybe not now, but in five or ten years we will all look back on you with pride for the perseverance and grit and courage it took ALL of us to endure and overcome some parts of you. The myopia will fade with time, and we will see the whole beautiful picture of you, 2020, and know that we are not alone, we are not weak, and we are not defeated. 

Farewell, 2020. I will savor these last few days of you—days of Christmas and the birth that gives all years meaning. And yes, I look forward to the promise of a new year, albeit a bit more skeptically than last year—but not bitterly or without hope. 2020, you are unforgettable for sure, but you are also beautiful in your own way, and I think the very best thing we can all do is to be grateful for you. 

Love,

Melissa 

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)