My friend Kiva makes beautiful jewelry. I noticed her creations the first time I worked with her in the Tab room at a speech and debate tournament two years ago. I almost never wore jewelry until I visited her Etsy shop and treated myself to some earrings (practically had to re-pierce my ears to wear them, but it was worth it!). When life took a southward turn two summers ago, I bought a necklace that Kiva had made…a simple silver chain with a small, stamped tag that said “But God…” I wore that necklace faithfully as I prayed fervently for its words to be true in my life. I could hear the future testimonies ringing in my mind…Our marriage was shattered, but God…A torpedo devastated our family, but God…She lost herself in grief, but God…

And then one day, I reached up to feel the necklace around my neck (I never took it off except to polish it), and it was gone. I searched around my house, my driveway, my car. No necklace. I was distraught. In my mind, the necklace represented a particular outcome that I desperately wanted and prayed would become reality. I texted Kiva to let her know it was missing and that I may need to order a new one. But before I could do that, something happened that woke me up to the reality, that this particular story may not have a “but God…” At least not the kind I was expecting. As I wrestled with God about this possibility, I repeatedly heard Him telling me that all He wanted me to do right then was trust Him.

A few weeks later, a package arrived from Kiva Slade Designs. I had not ordered anything, so I opened it curiously. Inside was a simple silver chain with a small stamped tag and a little green bead. The tag simply said “Trust” and the clasp was sturdy and strong. Kiva designed and made it just for me. I have worn this necklace for almost a year now and have found God abundantly worthy of my trust.

But when He closes a door or allows yet another trial, I somehow forget all of His faithfulness and lament the loss or try to change the situation He has allowed. I fret and question and take matters into my own hands. None of those end well. And later when I look back and see what He was actually doing, I realize my foolishness and His trustworthiness all over again.

The other Advent devotional I have been reading posed this question: “Hasn’t He already unequivocally earned trust? You can take your hands off your life—you don’t have to try to save yourself. Behold Him everywhere, and be held.” (The Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp—p. 190)

Behold Him everywhere—in the order of the days, in the intricacies of nature, in His word, in worship, in His faithful provision.

I spent several days studying this Psalm soon after moving into my new home:

How lovely is your dwelling place,

    O Lord of hosts!

My soul longs, yes, faints

    for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and flesh sing for joy

    to the living God.

Even the sparrow finds a home,

    and the swallow a nest for herself,

    where she may lay her young,

at your altars, O Lord of hosts,

    my King and my God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house,

    ever singing your praise! Selah

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

As they go through the Valley of Baca

    they make it a place of springs;

    the early rain also covers it with pools.

They go from strength to strength;

    each one appears before God in Zion.

O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;

    give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah

Behold our shield, O God;

    look on the face of your anointed!

For a day in your courts is better

    than a thousand elsewhere.

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

    the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold

    from those who walk uprightly.

O Lord of hosts,

    blessed is the one who trusts in you!

                                    (Psalm 84, ESV)

Reading it overwhelmed me. The Psalm speaks of blessing after blessing that God has provided FOR ME! He has repeatedly shown me the joy of being in His presence. He provided a home for me and my young. He transformed my “Valley of Weeping” into a “place of springs.” He has been my strength and my protection. He has shown me that a simple life devoted to serving Him is far superior to dwelling “in the tents of wickedness.” He has given me favor, allowed me to walk with honor, and withheld no good thing (though He has withheld a lot of things I THOUGHT were good).

When I got to the last verse of the Psalm and saw that these blessings stem from trust, my mouth dropped. That had been my command from Him a year ago, and now He was revealing to me that the act of trusting Him opened the door to countless blessings.

Kris Vallotton once wrote: “It is our responsibility to trust God. It is His responsibility to deliver, protect, and save us.”

For those of us use to fixing our own problems (and everyone else’s), the idea of trusting can be terrifying, but the alternative is trusting ourselves, a far riskier and less promising option.

 

May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!

    May the name of the God of Jacob protect you!

May he send you help from the sanctuary

    and give you support from Zion!

May he remember all your offerings

    and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices! Selah

May he grant you your heart’s desire

    and fulfill all your plans!

May we shout for joy over your salvation,

    and in the name of our God set up our banners!

May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!

Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;

    he will answer him from his holy heaven

    with the saving might of his right hand.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

They collapse and fall,

    but we rise and stand upright.

O Lord, save the king!

    May he answer us when we call.

                                    (Psalm 20, ESV)

 

 

Necklace made by Kiva Slade Designs (kivasladedesigns.com).